September 02, 2009

the 2008 Knockout Awards

Originally posted on on 1/12/09.

the 2008 Knockout Awards


I know that Talon Thorne already did a Year End Awards column, but since this was written several weeks in advance before that column was posted, I figured I’d send it in anyway.

Most Embarrassing Moment – the moment the wrestlers wish the fans would forget.

The nominees are:

1. Roxxi tosses a chair to Moose so it can be dropkicked into her face, but Moose
doesn’t catch it -- iMPACT.
2. The Beautiful People don’t realize that “Sarah Palin” is Daffney in disguise --
3. Velvet Sky gets pinned 3 times in one match -- iMPACT.
4. Anything involving Cute Kip.

Velvet Sky gets pinned by Taylor Wilde in 5 seconds. And again a few seconds later… and again a few minutes after that.

Ouch! Taylor came out of this looking awesome, but Velvet… poor, Velvet. You can call it one match, you can call it three matches, but any way you slice it this was a bad night for the Beautiful People. The fact that this was probably Velvet’s best singles match in TNA to date might help cushion the blow a bit, but still, probably not one for the highlight reel.


Most Absurd Moment – the moment the fans wish they could forget.

The nominees are…

1. Mickie Knuckles becomes Moose.
2. Josie becomes Sojourner Bolt.
3. Cute Kip.
4. The fake Sarah Palin

Honorable Mentions: Awesome Kong destroys “Elvis” (Slammiversary).

2-Way Tie.

Velvet & Angelina introduced their new fashionist, the insufferable ratings-killing monstrosity known as Kip James, now dubbed (pardon me while I vomit uncontrollably) “Cute Kip.” A few months later they invited former Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, to become an honorary member of the Beautiful People, and when former WCW Cruiserweight champion, Daffney, showed up in a flimsy disguise that wouldn’t fool anyone with two brain cells to rub together, they actually thought she was the real Palin.

The former got Kip James back on television regularly and was therefore a crime against wrestling fans everywhere, but the latter destroyed any hope Velvet & Angelina might have of ever being taken seriously as heels again.

Try as I might, it was simply impossible to choose between these two gems, and so we have a tie for Most Absurd Moment of the year. The good news is that now Velvet & Angelina can each have the award so they don’t have to share it.


Most Memorable Moment – the moment that will be remembered for all the right reasons.

The nominees are:

1. Awesome Kong defeats Gail Kim for the title after 3 consecutive awesome
bombs – iMPACT.
2. Taylor Wilde upsets Kong for the title in her third match – iMPACT.
3. Roxxi Laveaux gets her head shaved – Sacrifice.
4. Gail Kim turns Raisha Saeed’s top rope powerbomb attempt into a huge hurracanrana – Lockdown.

Honorable Mentions: Kong becomes the first ever 2 time Knockouts champion (iMPACT).

The head-shaving of Roxxi.

Taylor Wilde upsetting Awesome Kong for the Knockouts title came close, but the image of the bloodied Voodoo Queen losing her hair is the moment that’s going to stick in people’s minds for a long time to come. The implications were far more permanent as well -- not only did it see the end of the Voodoo gimmick but it generated an impressive surge in popularity for the often overlooked Roxxi. Now if only the TNA writers would cash in on that already.


Breakout Knockout of the Year – the woman rose to prominence in 2008.

The nominees are…

1. Taylor Wilde.
2. Angelina Love.
3. Awesome Kong.
4. Roxxi.


Awesome Kong was already a big deal before the year started. Angelina could’ve been huge but was buried by poor booking and bad writing. Taylor would’ve won if her push had caught on, but it didn’t.

For Roxxi, a face turn was all it took. She got over despite the rather silly Voodoo gimmick and without ever being pushed very hard, proved at Sacrifice that you don’t have to win the match to steal the show, capitalized on a welcome gimmick change and became one of the most popular women in the company.


Most Valuable Player – TNA’s alpha female of 2008.

The nominees are:

1. Taylor Wilde.
2. Awesome Kong.
3. Roxxi.
4. ODB.

Honorable Mentions: Gail Kim. She would’ve won this by a mile if she were still with the company. But she isn’t, so she won’t.

Awesome Kong.

She was ultimately victorious in the best women’s feud of the year, she’s one of the most convincing heels – male or female – in all of pro wrestling and has a more impressive win/loss record than most of the men on the roster. Kong wasn’t just the best choice for this award, she was the only choice.


Best Rivalry – the best feud of 2008.

The nominees are…

1. Gail Kim & Awesome Kong.
2. Taylor Wilde & Awesome Kong.
3. Roxxi & the Beautiful People.
4. Gail Kim & Angelina Love.

Gail Kim & Awesome Kong.

Best women’s feud in years. Period.


Match of the Year – the best match of 2008.

The nominees are:

1. Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong – Final Resolution (January).
2. Gail Kim/ODB vs. Awesome Kong/Raisha Saeed – Lockdown.
3. Gail Kim/ODB/Roxxi vs. the Beautiful People/Moose – Slammiversary.
4. Gail Kim/ODB/Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong/the Beautiful People – Hard

Honorable Mentions: Kim vs. Kong (iMPACT), Wilde vs. Kong (iMPACT), Kim vs. Roxxi (Sacrifice).

Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong -- Final Resolution (January).

This one is easy. A few other matches came close, but this epic contest was unequaled. This was the best women’s match in TNA or WWE in not just the last year, but as far back as I can remember.


Who to Watch in 2009 – which woman will make the biggest iMPACT in the new year.

The nominees are…

1. Roxxi.
2. Taylor Wilde.
3. Angelina Love.
4. Cheerleader Melissa.

Honorable Mentions: Sara Del Rey, in the event that TNA finally wakes up, gets off their asses and signs her.

Cheerleader Melissa.

Next year I would love to be able to call 2009 the Year of Roxxi and hopefully she’ll finally get the title run she deserves at some point over the next 12 months. But as much as I want to see TNA give Roxxi some appreciation there’s one thing I want to see just a little bit more.

TNA, for the last year you have abominably wasted one of the most talented female competitors in the entire industry by limiting her role to managing Awesome Kong from under a burqa. If you have any sense whatsoever, you will drop the Muslim gimmick and push this woman to the moon.

Melissa could be your new top Knockout babyface or she could challenge Kong for the title of top Knockout heel. Instead of managing the Knockouts champion, she should BE the Knockouts champion.

Or she can keep on wearing the burqa so she can continue jobbing to anyone that you want to get over on Kong without actually going over Kong. Not that you don’t have Rhaka Khan to do that now or anything…

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