February 21, 2011

TNA: TKO Ep. #3

Welcome to TKO, the fictional, one hour a week, Knockout exclusive iMPACT spinoff.

ROSTER: Angelina Love, Brooke Tessmacher, Cookie, Daffney, Madison Rayne, Mickie James, Sarita, Serafina (Christina Von Eerie), Tara, Velvet Sky, Winter

BROADCAST TEAM: Jeremy Borash & Don West


INTERVIEWER: Christy Hemme


TKO abides by one rule: Absolutely nothing happens on the show that could not conceivably happen if it existed in real life.

Here's what happened last time: Setting the Stage, Ep. #1, Ep. #2


iMPACT ZONE: The announcers welcome us to the show and hype up tonight's main event, a triple threat match between Angelina Love, Sarita and Madison Rayne to determine who will earn the right to challenge Mickie James for the Knockouts championship next week.

Madison Rayne's music plays and she comes out to stand on the stage, followed by Tara. Madison is once again making a big production, waving to the crowd, blowing kisses, almost acting like she's royalty. Tara looks rather bored with the whole thing.

Madison says that she knows the fans have missed seeing her with the title because it's so much uglier for not being around her gorgeous waist. She tells them to be patient just a little longer as she will have it back very soon. Angelina, Sarita and Mickie are nothing to her, she knows she's still the champion in the hearts and minds of all her fans, and after tonight, she will be one step closer to retaking her rightful place as the queen of this show.

BACKSTAGE: Winter cuts a promo about her match tonight with Serafina. She calls Serafina a filthy street person who walked in from the gutter. A woman with Winter's class and refined upbringing doesn't normally associate with miscreants like this, but she's making an exception tonight so she can teach Serafina to know her place. Afterward, she will need to be disinfected because she doesn't think Serafina bathes.

Traci Brooks approaches Mickie James at the catering area. She says she knows they got off to a bad start, but they need to find a way to work together. Mickie could be the champion again soon, which means she'll be the top woman in this company, but Traci is still her boss and they need to be on the same page. She understands Mickie hasn't agreed with a lot of her decisions, but she needs to at least respect them. She tells Mickie to think about it.

Serafina is on her way to the ring and cuts a promo on Winter. She says Winter came up with some BS excuses to get out of wrestling her last week, but the joke's on her because Serafina has had 7 days instead of 7 minutes to think about how much she doesn't like this bitch. If there's one thing she can't stand, it's people who think they're better than everyone else. She calls Winter an elitist scumbag. Last week, Winter looked down on her, but when Serafina is finished, Winter will be staring up at the lights.

iMPACT ZONE: The women make their entrances as the announcers talk about the fight between them last week. They agree Winter kind of brought this match on herself by disrespecting her, but Serafina flew off the handle really quickly and seems to have a pretty short fuse.


Serafina is out-wrestling Winter until Winter goes for a cheap pin with her feet on the ropes.

WINNER: Winter in 6:03

JB & West agree that Serafina had the match won until Winter decided to take a shortcut.

BACKSTAGE: Velvet Sky emerges from the Beautiful People's dressing room in a silk robe. Angelina Love is there and says she has a really important match tonight. She asks if she can count on Velvet to be in her corner after Velvet is done with this. Velvet says she can, but she doesn't look happy. JB hypes another installment of 60 Seconds of Fan Service With Velvet Sky as we cut to a break.


BACKSTAGE: Angelina cuts a promo about the main event tonight. She says it's fitting that the 2 stumbling blocks between her and that title shot are her 2 least favorite people in this company right now. Madison used to be the chump who carried Angelina's luggage, and Sarita may be on a role right now, but that's going to come to an end tonight. Angelina promises that she will win this tournament and be a double champion when it's all said and done.

Velvet follows a stage hand and asks him what embarrassing crap she's going to have to suffer through this week. He directs her to an area that's been set aside where 2 men in tuxedos are filling an inflatable kiddie pool with mud. Velvet stares at it, incredulously. Then she snaps. She says the show is over; she's not doing this. She takes off down the hallway, yelling for Traci.

iMPACT ZONE: Mickie's music plays and she walks to the ring with a mic. She says that Traci Brooks talked to her a few minutes ago and told Mickie to think about the 2 of them trying to work together. Well, she thought about it and she's not buying it. Mickie explains that for years she worked for a company where the people in charge abused their power on a weekly basis, making life miserable for everyone there, and she likes to think she's gotten pretty good at recognizing the signs.

She says you can call her paranoid if you want to, but something about Traci just isn't adding up to her. Traci told Mickie to respect her decisions, but her decisions make no sense, and that won't change as long as she's refusing to explain herself to anyone. Traci tried to extend an olive branch to her earlier, but Mickie has decided that, until she figures out what Traci is up to, she can keep it.

BACKSTAGE: Traci is in her office, watching this on a monitor, her face very dark.

Velvet barges in, yelling at her. Anger boiling over, Traci starts yelling back. She has bigger problems to deal with right now and the last thing she needs is Velvet bugging her about the same damn thing 3 weeks in a row. Velvet doesn't care; this stuff Traci has her doing is insulting and it's not what she's here for. She came to TNA to be a wrestler, not some cheap sex toy for perverts to drool over. She hates it. It's humiliating, it's garbage, and she's not doing it anymore.

Traci says Velvet is putting her in a hell of spot. Not to mention, she could be screwing herself in the process. Velvet doesn't care; she's had enough of the fan service crap and shrieks at Traci to just tell her what she has to do to fix this.

Traci gets right in her face and says, "Win. A. Match."

Determined, Velvet promises that she'll beat anyone Traci puts in front of her. Traci tells her to put her gear on and get her ass to the ring.


BACKSTAGE: Sarita cuts a promo about the main event. She came to TNA with big plans and tonight is the night that the wheels start turning. She says Madison was a paper champion that she's already beaten twice, and the only reason why Angelina has had so much success in this company is because until Sarita got there, her only competition was a bunch of no-talent bimbos who wouldn't know a wrestling clinic from an STD clinic. She's got moves these losers can't even imagine. She says she will have championship gold around her waist again very soon, and then maybe she'll rub it in Velvet's face just because she can.

iMPACT ZONE: Velvet makes her way to the ring, not bothering with her usual crotch rope rub entrance. She's fired up and dead serious. West says that Velvet looks like she wants to hurt someone.

SoCal Val announces that the next participant is making her TNA debut and introduces new Knockout, Trina Diaz (Divina Fly/Rosita).

Trina is all smiles as she heads down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans at ringside, clearly a babyface. West comments on how young and small she looks. JB says she's only 19 years old, making her the youngest person on the roster. She's a rookie with very little experience, especially compared to Velvet. She could have her hands full here.


Velvet attacks Trina like an animal the second the bell rings. Forgoing any of her flashier moves (headscissors, etc), Velvet isn't wrestling, so much as fighting. West remarks that Velvet is being kind of reckless, but she's been so frustrated for the last few weeks that she can't be thinking clearly right now. He says she's looking at Trina and probably picturing Sarita, or Winter, or Traci -- Velvet's angry at so many people right now, it's hard to tell.

Velvet is dominating until she makes a careless misstep. Trina capitalizes and rolls her up.

WINNER: Trina Diaz in 2:48

Velvet is horrified; she can't believe she lost, to a rookie no less. JB reminds us about what Traci said to Velvet earlier, as well as last week. West says that Velvet may have just endangered her career.

Trina offers to help Velvet up and tries to shake her hand. Velvet bats Trina's hand away and shoves her, knocking her down. JB wonders if this is just her frustration getting the better of her, or if maybe this is a bit of the old (re. heel) Velvet reemerging.

Velvet quickly heads to the back, looking distraught.

BACKSTAGE: Velvet trashes the backstage area, throwing things, breaking anything she can get her hands on.

Sarita walks in, applauding sarcastically. She says that must have been pretty embarrassing just now. Velvet tells her to get lost before she hurts her. Sarita says it's pretty sad that Velvet still thinks she can do that after what just happened. "I can read you like a book, Velvet," she says. "You've got nothing on me. Hell, you just got beat by a rookie." But Sarita adds that, in a way, she kind of admires Velvet's persistence. After all, anyone else in her place probably would have killed themselves by now.

Velvet snaps. She throws herself at Sarita, who sidesteps and sends Velvet crashing into a bunch of trash cans.

Sarita gets really serious now. "Look at you!" she yells. "You think you can beat anyone when you're like this? You're pathetic! You can't even figure out who you're really angry at!" She gets in close, grabbing Velvet by the tights. "But I'll give you a little hint, Velvet. That person you're so angry at? It's not me."

Sarita smashes Velvet over the head with a trash can lid and walks away, leaving Velvet lying there, beaten, humiliated and demoralized.

JB says the main event is up next as we cut to a break.


They air a video package promoting the upcoming debut of Jennifer Blade (Jennifer Blake). Match footage is intercut with interview footage where she describes herself as a powder keg and a risk-taker.

iMPACT ZONE: Sarita makes her entrance as JB & West discuss what just happened. West wonders if Angelina knows about it yet. Then Madison makes her entrance, followed by Tara.

BACKSTAGE: Angelina is looking for Velvet, but Winter says they don't have time to wait for her and pushes Angelina toward the entranceway.

iMPACT ZONE: Angelina makes her entrance, followed by Winter.


Before the bell, Mickie comes out to join JB & West at the announce booth. They ask her about her issues with Traci, but she avoids the question, focusing on the match.

The finish comes when Sarita and Angelina are both down. Tara tries to pass Madison a chair to use on them, but Winter nails Tara and grabs the chair before Madison can use it. Momentarily distracted, Madison turns back to the match and walks into a tiger bomb from Sarita. Sarita makes a cover, but Angelina grabs her, throws her out of the ring and pins Madison herself.


Angelina wins the title shot against Mickie James next week. She's elated. As she celebrates, Winter jumps into the ring, hugs her and lifts Angelina up on her shoulders.

Velvet appears on the stage, watching all this happen, looking lost and helpless.

Mickie leaves the announce booth and enters the ring. She and Angelina shake hands and stare each other down like opponents at a UFC weigh in.

Suddenly, Traci appears on the video screen. She congratulates Angelina. She says the match between her and Mickie next week will decide who the new Knockouts champion is. And since this is such an important match, there will be a special guest referee: TRACI!

As Mickie stares at the grinning image of Traci on the screen, we...


1 comment:

Albrittonprimus2k4 said...

This column is cool; I can actually see it playing in my head. If TNA were smart, they'd hire you and make TKO a reality. Everyone that has been used up until this point has been used to their full potential. You've fleshed out these women's characters in these 3 episodes more than the actual company has done in the past 14 months since Hogan & Bischoff arrived.